Batman and Robin - wtf?
September 27th 2006 07:19
So I revisited Batman and Robin on the weekend. It was showing on TV1 and I remember it being kind of cool, although definitely not my favourite of all the Batman films. And after sitting through 125 minutes of bad puns and awkward, forced performances, I can now remember why.
Arnold Schwarzenegger should never be allowed to speak in films. Ever. He is a dreadful actor, and he even made playing a dull and stoic villain look difficult to play. He didn’t even have to emote. Yet, he struggled. He should have just walked in, frozen stuff, and walked out. But he wasn’t alone in the shoddy acting zone. Uma Thurman was half convincing as Dr. Pamela Isley but as soon as she turned into Poison Ivy, everything went downhill and I began to wonder if she’d been given her script on the day of shooting all her scenes. I’m not really sure what George Clooney was trying to do with the character of Batman but it seems when George panics he just grins a lot and plays George Clooney. I think I even saw him looking to other people’s reactions in one scene before reacting himself. Psst, George! Notes you should have taken during rehearsal time, nay, acting class, buddy. I’m sorry but there will only ever be one Batman in my eyes and that’s Michael Keaton. Alicia Silverstone was dull and inconsistent as Batgirl and I wondered at one point if she was reading her lines off of big cards. And Elle Macpherson…just, no. So much no. Thank God for Michael Gough (Alfred), probably the only convincing performance in the entire film.
I found myself dying to watch Batman and Batman Returns afterwards, to cleanse myself of the absolute trite, contrived, awfulness of this film. Directed by the incomparable Tim Burton (Beetlejuice, Edward Scissorhands, Planet of the Apes – I could go on for hours) and written by Sam Hamm (Monkeybone), the first two films just had the darkness and mystery of Gotham City down. I didn’t feel like I was watching a children’s adaptation of a comic book. The writing was mature and realistic and Tim managed to put his own gothic spin on Gotham, so much so that I now refuse to accept any other director’s Gotham City. As far as I’m concerned, Batman is his.
P.S. What was the point of the storyline in Batman and Robin? Was there one? Was there any internal conflict in any of the characters? I think Akiva Goldsman has a lot to answer for here…and I’ve never liked much of anything Joel Shumacher has done, except for perhaps, A Time to Kill.
Along with Spiderman, Batman will always be one of my favourite superheroes. Hopefully I will be able to shut Batman and Robin out of my memory forever or even pretend that it never actually existed in the first place. I honestly don't remember it being so terrible, but it is. It really is. Stick with Batman and Batman Returns, they’re where you’ll find all the good stuff. And Batman Begins is a winner too, directed by Christopher Nolan and written by David S. Goyer. No one will ever beat Tim, but they can try.
Arnold Schwarzenegger should never be allowed to speak in films. Ever. He is a dreadful actor, and he even made playing a dull and stoic villain look difficult to play. He didn’t even have to emote. Yet, he struggled. He should have just walked in, frozen stuff, and walked out. But he wasn’t alone in the shoddy acting zone. Uma Thurman was half convincing as Dr. Pamela Isley but as soon as she turned into Poison Ivy, everything went downhill and I began to wonder if she’d been given her script on the day of shooting all her scenes. I’m not really sure what George Clooney was trying to do with the character of Batman but it seems when George panics he just grins a lot and plays George Clooney. I think I even saw him looking to other people’s reactions in one scene before reacting himself. Psst, George! Notes you should have taken during rehearsal time, nay, acting class, buddy. I’m sorry but there will only ever be one Batman in my eyes and that’s Michael Keaton. Alicia Silverstone was dull and inconsistent as Batgirl and I wondered at one point if she was reading her lines off of big cards. And Elle Macpherson…just, no. So much no. Thank God for Michael Gough (Alfred), probably the only convincing performance in the entire film.
I found myself dying to watch Batman and Batman Returns afterwards, to cleanse myself of the absolute trite, contrived, awfulness of this film. Directed by the incomparable Tim Burton (Beetlejuice, Edward Scissorhands, Planet of the Apes – I could go on for hours) and written by Sam Hamm (Monkeybone), the first two films just had the darkness and mystery of Gotham City down. I didn’t feel like I was watching a children’s adaptation of a comic book. The writing was mature and realistic and Tim managed to put his own gothic spin on Gotham, so much so that I now refuse to accept any other director’s Gotham City. As far as I’m concerned, Batman is his.
P.S. What was the point of the storyline in Batman and Robin? Was there one? Was there any internal conflict in any of the characters? I think Akiva Goldsman has a lot to answer for here…and I’ve never liked much of anything Joel Shumacher has done, except for perhaps, A Time to Kill.
Along with Spiderman, Batman will always be one of my favourite superheroes. Hopefully I will be able to shut Batman and Robin out of my memory forever or even pretend that it never actually existed in the first place. I honestly don't remember it being so terrible, but it is. It really is. Stick with Batman and Batman Returns, they’re where you’ll find all the good stuff. And Batman Begins is a winner too, directed by Christopher Nolan and written by David S. Goyer. No one will ever beat Tim, but they can try.
| 80 |
| Vote |
subscribe to this blog
Comment by JohnDoe
Film & TV on DVD
A really bad film all round.
In Joel Schumachers defense i didnt mind Tigerland and Falling Down, The Lost Boys is a guilty pleasure.
Comment by Emma
Comment by Adrian
Philosophy Blog
Here's a completely pointless anecdote. The dean of law at Usyd is blind. I went to a barbecue at his place, and he was talking about the movie. "I went to see Batman and Robin yesterday. That's two hours of my life I'll never get back." There was an awkward pause after he used the word "see", because the audience was very conscious of his blindness. But I suppose it just goes to show that even if you've only experiencing the movie audially, it ain't much better.
Comment by Emma