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Rock n Flicks - "waiting for the gift of sound and vision" (David Bowie 1977)

Everybody does it and everybody talks about it.

March 30th 2007 05:46
Flying Solo: The Nuts and Bolts of Masturbation

Perhaps in the vein of self-discovery and the somewhat initial confusion surrounding masturbation, this show actually intended to be a bit messy, a bit unsure of itself, a little self-conscious and downright embarrassing. Perhaps it was just poorly written, acted and directed, and terribly unrehearsed.

I am not ashamed to say I am a big fan of masturbation and have been so since the age of about 12, but sadly there really wasn’t much for me to learn or enjoy here. The appreciation is in the act itself, not really in talking about it. And that is all that was done in this play. Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, I felt like I was in a lecture at a Sexpo, but that I wasn’t learning anything new. Can I have my money back please? My dignity is long gone.


Being that the act of masturbation itself has been practised since the dawn of time, there really isn’t much a contemporary play can offer in terms of shocking new information. I didn’t even get any notes on technique. There were a few laughs and plenty of dick jokes and at times I wondered if this was a lecture, seminar, Cabaret piece, series of monologues or a complete and utter disaster. Let’s just call it a variety show with very little variety.

Still it contained one of the biggest…ahem…members, that I’ve ever seen in my life and that I am ever likely to see again. But the most hilarious element of the show for me was not the content itself but the fact that one of the writers is called Richard Fidler (this has to be a joke, right?), and that it finished it up with Divinyls’ infamous hit; I Touch Myself.

I say save your money, have a night in and compose your own show about masturbation, maybe you’ll discover something you can offer to the writers of this trite, contrived and utterly banal show.


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